Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Still Here

I am still here. Before you all send out the search party.

This is my final semester as an undergraduate, I am applying to graduate school, I am trying to clean and do laundry, and I am also attempting to rule the world. See I am a very busy lady, and I also know that none of you are going to accept any of these excuses.

Our profile went out 2 weeks ago. I try very hard not to think about this. Somewhere, a woman is reading about us and maybe considering giving us the greatest gift ever. Then again, she could be reading about us and laughing, so hard that she pees her pants, at the thought of us ever being parents. In all honesty, we are not exactly the most normal couple ever, we certainly don't look like normal people. I just hope that she is out there. Then there is the fact that there is someone out there who has stolen my heart.

In good news, we have narrowed down the potential egg donors down to FOUR. I am also happy to report that we did not even have to resort to pulling numbers out of a hat. In the end it really came down to women who we could see ourselves being friends with. Now I just have to keep myself from looking at new applicants, which involves a lot of hand slapping.

Once again, we find ourselves in a holding pattern. In that place where we do everything we can to distract ourselves. In that place where we try not to let ourselves dream too big. In that place where our dreams have taken on their own lives and wander around in our minds. The difference now is that we are getting closer, closer than we ever thought.

It seems like a lifetime ago that we started down this path and now we are really starting. It may only be small steps, and we very well may fall on our butts, but we are walking. Then again we have been here before and the crash was horrifying. I am really trying to keep those memories of the past where they belong, way far away. Those scars are carried with us though. We know that the stove is hot, but we also know that we have to be willing to risk the burns to get the yummies.

It may not be this year, but soon we are going to bring our baby home.

Thank you all for waiting around for me to post. I will try to be better.

All of you mean the world to me. I really do not think that I would have made it through last year without all of you. Just knowing that I am not alone makes the world a sunnier place.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

sick

I meant to write a really long post today. Then this huge truck, with a ton of virus slammed into me, so please be patient. I promise a good post in a few days.