Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Friendship and Lessons

I have been a really bad blogger and a really bad blog reader, forgive me.

Things are going well and I have made my peace with the school situation. For those of you who asked, I went as far up as I could and there was just no changing anything. I will be working on changing the policy and will have some considerable help doing so. Thank you all so much for encouraging me and standing behind me as I went through all this, it helped more than you could know.

Please take note of the ticker in the right hand corner, more on the title in a moment. We are getting close to the transfer and I am freaking out just a HUGE tiny bit, but I will get over that, you know after I knock myself over the head and wake up after it is all over.

While I was finishing up with school, I got a blog award from my darling Emily. Since I hate to admit that I have not read one new blog all summer, I am going to change the rules a bit, cause I am a rebel like that.

I have decided that I am going to tell you a little bit about Emily and why getting this recognition from her really makes it that much more special. I found Emily through ILCW and I hooked. When I first came upon her little space in the blogsphere she was in the process of doing IVF (#2?) and I have never wished harder for anyone to be successful, her tattoos alone would have been enough to make me want this for her. Though what really struck me was all her tickers, and one in particular, the ticker she had for Darby. Her precious pup had not been gone long, and every time she wrote about Darby I cried like I had lost my pup. The sincerity and emotion reached through the screen and tugged at my heart. Then of course, there were her wedding pictures, you are hitched in custom Converse and well that is just about the coolest thing EVER.

Over the past year or so, I have watched Emily and Steve make some very major life transitions, and Emily has been gracious enough to let us all share in every moment. With the moving, heartache, and questioning, I have been privy to an amazing transformation. Their transition from attempting to conceive to waiting to adopt was really a magical thing to watch, because they got there without bitterness and hate. Yes, she mourned the loss of having a biological child, but she embraced having an adopted child with such beauty and fervor it astounds me every day.

I have met a lot of really amazing women through this blog, more than I could have ever imagined. There is just something special about Emily. She has given me something that I did not even know I was missing. In her story I have found the strength to feel the anger and unfairness, but not to let these feelings be roadblocks. Those feelings are just that feelings, and you have a choice to be paralyzed by them or to use them to propel you to the next step. If I could make her and Steve parents tomorrow I would, but I cannot. I would have a baby for her in an instant, but that will not work either. What I can do is beg and plead with all of you to go buy a bracelet. I know I have asked before, but I am just going to keep asking until you do it.

Emily, you are an awesome person and your child will be so lucky to have you as their mother.


Beautiful Mess said...

You are so sweet! I bet Emily feels the exact same about you!

WOW, a month till transfer?! How exciting!

emilythehopeless said...

i can't believe your transfer is so soon.. i am so so so excited!!! i feel like it's my transfer! i wish i could be there holding your hand! i will be *with* you guys in spirit.. crossing my fingers and toes the entire time!

ohmygod a post about little old me!? again!? oh man i'm gonna cry!
ugh.. my darby ticker.. every day that ticks my heart dies a little more.
aww.. you are so sweet. you know, you really helped me more than any one or any book, in so many ways. you let me unload my insecurities and questions and you always make me feel better and stronger. you listen without judging my insanity and offer not just advice, but tell me what you would do.
i feel the same for you.. if i could help you become a mother i would do it in a second. all we can do is be there for each other.. and fortunately we're doing a good job at that. our roadblocks are different but the same.. we can lean on each other and the blogosphere to find the courage to move on. and i am so glad i know you to help me when i can't see the light.
you too are an awesome person and your little one will be a lucky baby to have you as a mommy.. and me as an aunt! hehe :)
i cannot wait for the day we have a playdate with our little ones. i'm sure i'll just cry the whole time.

thank you for your amazingly kind words and your beautiful heart.


ps: am i seeing you this weekend?!?

Meg. said...

Jaymee! *hugs*

It's so good to hear from you again.

I'm glad that you've managed to mostly put all this frustrating school crap behind you...for the moment. =) And how awesome that you'll be fighting to change those effed up policies!

1 month, 1 week and 3 days til transfer day! =-O
Oh my goodness! It's practically here! I'm so excited for you. I'll be sending you tons of calming vibes over the next few weeks.

And what a dear tribute to Emily. =) I bought a bracelet the first day I found out about them, and have put a link on my own blog. I really really hope that as many people possible make the choice to donate to an AMAZING cause.

Kristin said...

What a beautiful, heartfelt post. I'm glad you and Emily found each other and can provide each other with such support.