a mole ate my line

i guess this is the new form of "the dog ate my homework." a mole really did eat my internet connection. i am back up and running now, but of course life has been turned upside down.

when we first started looking into surrogacy i imagined that once we got to the actual pregnancy, that each day would be torture. was i ever wrong! there is a reason that nature gives you morning sickness, because without it the crazy cleaning sickness strikes. i am not complaining, i have gotten so much done, but there is still so much to do.

the second trimester is here and it feels like our first BETA was yesterday. for some reason it seems like all these years of waiting should have slowed down this part as well. maybe this is because i am not there to experience every day's ups and downs. this does not mean that life is blissful ignorance. sabrina and i talk at least once a week so i know everything that is happening. i am so lucky that i really have no worries about anything pregnancy related, because i know that sabrina is taking perfect care of cletus and i also know that sabrina will tell me any and everything that is happening.

we are going to our first huge family thing next weekend. the husband's grandmother is turning 100, so we are making the trip up north. i adore my husband's family, they are all really wonderful, but we do not have a ton of contact with them or at least not as much as we do with my family. i am nervous about the whole thing, not that i for one second think that anyone would say anything out of line, but because this is a bit out of my comfort zone. everyone knows that cletus is being carried by a surrogate and some of them may or may not know that we are using an egg donor. talking about all of this does not bother me in the least, i have always tried to be an open book about the process.

this is just going to be very different from dealing with my family. no one gets into my family the "old fashioned" way. we prefer to use alternative methods to achieve parenthood, or at least nature has decided that we should. our conversations at family gatherings sound like an RE convention. i am not expecting our situation to be the center of conversation, really i expect that it will be a small side note.

it is just a little out of my comfort zone. i will be the first to admit that we are extremely fortunate that everyone in our lives has been so incredibly supportive. this is rarely, if ever, the case with people who create their families through surrogacy. i know that my husband's family will be no different. the anxiety will stay until the whole thing is over and it turns out to be such a minor thing. it is just that i know the more people we tell the more times we open ourselves up for stupid comments. thankfully, some of the people who have stumbled over here have taught me that those comments come only from a lack of education on a subject that i really wish no one ever had to learn about.