Monday, September 21, 2009

Welcome and the Cliff Notes

Welcome to ILCW!! My favorite time of the month, when I have enough time to participate. It has been a while since I have given a quick rundown of me and how we ended up in the amazing world of surrogacy, so I thought I would do this for all of you who are new, and those of you who just may not know.

The problems really began when I was 12, and started having very irregular periods that would last for months when they finally showed up. This landed me in the hospital getting a blood transfusion because my blood pressure was 60/40. It was at this time that I first started taking birth control pills, and more birth control pills, and finally moved onto estrogen and progestin because there was not a high enough dosage to keep me from having breakthrough bleeding. I was diagnosed with von Willebrand disease shortly after my first major episode of severe bleeding. When the hormone therapies were not working, the best option was to do a D&C, the first of which I had at the age of 13. At the age of 21, I was diagnosed with PCOS. After years of buckets of hormones and countless D&Cs, I decided that having an endometrial ablation was the best course of action, so in March of 2007 I went into the hospital and effectively killed my uterus. This is a decision that I have never regretted for a moment. Having periods that lasted for months on end, six months being the longest, I was ready to have a "normal" life. I was tired and drained all of the time and the hormones had just stopped working. We were ready to start a family and there was no way that I could be the mother that I wanted to be feeling the way that I did most of the time. The greatest gift of being an adopted child has been that I knew having a child that was biologically related to me was not the most important thing in the world, being a mother has nothing to do with seeing your eyes looking back at you.

In March of 2008, we met with a surrogacy agency. It was a wonderful and awful experience at the same time. We had some major issues with their contracts, were never able to work those issues out, so we decided that they were not the agency for us, and moved on. When I started this blog one of the first posts that I wrote was about being so alone in this process. It was then that I got an e-mail from a woman whose blog I had been reading for about a week or so. She was an amazing surrogate, we emailed back and forth and I watched as she had two perfect little girls for an amazing man. I just knew that she was the only person in the world that I would want to go through this journey with, so I became a bit of a stalker in a perfectly nice way. We were worried about doing this journey without an agency because this is all a bit overwhelming when you start to go it alone. On February 4th of 2009, I got an email with her phone number; I was so excited that I totally forgot to read the rest of the message. I called and we talked for a good 2 hours. We talked about everything, but her offer to be our surrogate, because I never read that part, and even though I wanted to call and beg her, I was trying to come off a little bit less insane than I actually am. A week went by and I was cleaning out the in-box, and finally read the part where she had offered to carry our baby. Words cannot express the embarrassment and stupidity that I felt, while I was also feeling amazing. With my stomach turning back flips, I called her back, and was just crossing everything that she had not changed her mind because I was an airhead that cannot finish reading an email. Thankfully, she did not change her mind, in fact she found the whole thing very amusing.

We had always intended to use an egg donor, because I did not want to pass on my bleeding disorder. Then we learned that there was a possibility that we could do genetic testing and just implant the embryos that were free of the disorder. Well, when you are given a chance like this you take it. While we were working on our contracts and getting the details hammered out, my blood was in a lab being tested. True to form, my body never does anything the normal way, instead of having a genetic mutation like most people, I have a whole series of genes that are missing. In order to do PGD we would need to send the blood to England and then have the test verified here, and it all boiled down to a whole lot of waiting for something that was just not that important. We went back to the drawing board on the egg donors.

At this moment we have our donor, we have the world's most amazing woman willing to put herself through a pregnancy, and we are just waiting for the planets to align so that this family of ours can grow.

29 comments:

Circus Princess said...

Jaymee, thank you for sharing your story. I keep my fingers and toes crossed for you and hope for a perfect alignment of the planets :-)

Rose's Daughter said...

Stories like these are why I love this community of bloggers!! Good luck!!

Here from ICLW

Rachael said...

So very exciting!

lowfatlady said...

Wow what an amazing journey. I hope that the whole process continues to fall into place. good luck!

ICLW

April said...

What an amazing journey! I hope soon everything aligns soon for you!

ICLW

Lavender Luz said...

Thanks for filling me in on your story. I'd known bits of it but it's good to put together all the details.

~Ifer said...

What a beautiful outlook on your life. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

Beautiful Mess said...

Great introduction! I'm glad you were paired with a wonderful woman to be your surrogate.

I'm hoping the planets align for you, too!
*HUGS*

Lisa RM said...

Jaymee, how hard it is to remember the whole timing thing for you, thanks for this little chronology!

Rain Child said...

Thank you for sharing your story! It's amazing. I always find it so uplifting to read how sometimes the world just "works itself out" in small ways.

Have a great day.

ICLW

Infertile In the City said...

Jaymee!!! You have a donor, how amazing and exciting (I missed a post about this - will have to search about it). So happy for you and can not wait to stand by and cheer you on!

Meg. said...

Come on, stars! Line on up! =)

I know I've said it a million times, but thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. Thank you for inspiring me to start my own blog. Thank you for being a positive force and an awesome source of support.

You're on your way, mama!

Dot said...

WOW ! what a journey you have had and such am amazing journey !

(((HUGS)))

~ICLW

Courtney said...

What an amazing story! I wish you the best of luck with your journey!

Lynn said...

You've been through such a long journey! I pray that everything will move together soon and you can finally have your family. All the best to you!

~ICLW~

T Lee said...

What an incredible journey! I am amazed by (and a little jealous of) how strong you are at making decisions, and taking ownership of your choices. So much luck with the surrogacy!!!

Caitlin said...

Holy cow! You are one strong woman to have gone through all of that and come out the other side so positive. I definitely admire your courage and strength. Wishing you the best for things to come!

((hugs))

Robin said...

Wow! Your story is very unique...and interesting! Good luck!!!!

ICLW- Nice to meet you!

Kim said...

What an interesting and amazing story! Hoping the best for you - and hoping those planets align soon!
ICLW

addingtothepack said...

Wow, what a great story. I hope that everything comes together for you soon so that you can grow your family.

ICLW

Deanna said...

What an amazing story. I am so glad to have read it. You are an amazing woman (and I can tell that just by this post!) and I know that your baby/babies will be so blessed to have you as their mom!

Kristin said...

Jaymee, you have the most fabulous story. I am so excited that you are getting close to your family building time.

Gabby said...

jaymee, i love your story so much. i could read it a hundred times and never ever tire of it.

can't wait to follow the continutation..

theclam said...

Hi J, thanks for your comment on my blog :)

What an amazing wonderful story you're living. I'm so pleased to hear that you've got most of your ducks in a row and will be praying that your family is completed sooner rather than later.

xxx
(ICLW)

Kari said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story!! It is amazing and inspirational!! Good luck on your journey!!

ICLW

Michelle said...

How incredible to meet your surrogate from blogging! That's such a wonderful thing. Wishing you the best on your journey, happy to have found your blog.

ICLW

Saige said...

Oh my gosh. This is by far one of the most amazing stories I have ever read. Every.Single.Bit.of.it. I have no words. Your cycles... holy cow. How incredible that you found someone to surrogate for you after going through so much with the agency and then leaving them behind. How wonderful and incredible you have found a donor. I wish you all the very best of luck as this journey continues. I hope you don't mind if I follow along.

Cyn said...

While we wait for the planets to align, keep blogging! I miss hearing from you!!

jenicini said...

Wow, what a story! The fact that you found a surrogate this way is really amazing! I'm wishing you all of the best.

ICLW