Tick Tock

I have no new news on the genetic testing front. I hope to hear something by Tuesday at the latest. Right now the plan it to wait until then and move on from there.

I just want to thank all of you for the love and support, it has been very overwhelming. I cannot imagine going through all of this without all of you standing behind me. Over the past couple of days, I have been able to really see what is important to me in this whole journey. Yes, the end goal is to have a baby, but there is so much more in this situation. When we first started to look into surrogacy, I had a vision of what this would all look like. We would find a surrogate, do what we needed to do, have a baby, and then there would be a few letters and pictures, but that would be the end of the relationship.

There is no way that I can imagine having that type of relationship now. Not just because Sabrina is someone that I would want to be friends with no matter what, but also because I have realized just how personal this relationship needs to be. Sure, this is my husband and I's child but Sabrina's whole family is involved in this situation. We are the ones waiting, but they are the ones giving up so much to help us end the wait. When I first got the news that we would have to wait to do the transfer, Sabrina was the first person that I called, and I cannot even begin to put into words how much easier she made the whole situation. I was able to see the forest for the trees after talking to her. We are in this together, and this is a partnership like no other. We are all going to make it to the end together, so how could I possibly just walk away after all of this. The answer is that there is no way that I could ever do such a thing.

She does not want to be the mother of our child, she just wants to be a part of our lives as a family, and there is nothing wrong with that. When I got the horrible call, I realized that there are so many people who want to be part of our life as a family, so I can always welcome one more. Just like each person who reads this blog, we are all a part of each other's families. It is an amazing thing to know that as we wait for our child and while we are raising our child, that we will have this amazing support. So thank you all for giving me a safe place to fall, it means more than any of you could ever know. This goes for all my real life friends and family and my blogsphere friends. I only hope that I can be as supportive of all of you as you are of me.