Saturday, August 15, 2009

Tick Tock

I have no new news on the genetic testing front. I hope to hear something by Tuesday at the latest. Right now the plan it to wait until then and move on from there.

I just want to thank all of you for the love and support, it has been very overwhelming. I cannot imagine going through all of this without all of you standing behind me. Over the past couple of days, I have been able to really see what is important to me in this whole journey. Yes, the end goal is to have a baby, but there is so much more in this situation. When we first started to look into surrogacy, I had a vision of what this would all look like. We would find a surrogate, do what we needed to do, have a baby, and then there would be a few letters and pictures, but that would be the end of the relationship.

There is no way that I can imagine having that type of relationship now. Not just because Sabrina is someone that I would want to be friends with no matter what, but also because I have realized just how personal this relationship needs to be. Sure, this is my husband and I's child but Sabrina's whole family is involved in this situation. We are the ones waiting, but they are the ones giving up so much to help us end the wait. When I first got the news that we would have to wait to do the transfer, Sabrina was the first person that I called, and I cannot even begin to put into words how much easier she made the whole situation. I was able to see the forest for the trees after talking to her. We are in this together, and this is a partnership like no other. We are all going to make it to the end together, so how could I possibly just walk away after all of this. The answer is that there is no way that I could ever do such a thing.

She does not want to be the mother of our child, she just wants to be a part of our lives as a family, and there is nothing wrong with that. When I got the horrible call, I realized that there are so many people who want to be part of our life as a family, so I can always welcome one more. Just like each person who reads this blog, we are all a part of each other's families. It is an amazing thing to know that as we wait for our child and while we are raising our child, that we will have this amazing support. So thank you all for giving me a safe place to fall, it means more than any of you could ever know. This goes for all my real life friends and family and my blogsphere friends. I only hope that I can be as supportive of all of you as you are of me.

7 comments:

Kristin said...

I just hope and pray the rest of this journey is smoother for you.

FET Accompli said...

I hope things go well with the genetic testing results. You are fortunate to have such a close bond with Sabrina, and that together you can weather the downs and celebrate the ups.

Beautiful Mess said...

I wasn't able to comment on your post from Thursday, but I read it. I prayed for you and your husband. I'm really sorry there is this roadblock in the way.

You are handling it so well, though. You are being honest with your feelings and so graceful. I can't speak for anyone else, but you have always shown me nothing but amazing support. I'm always an email away and I'll be here standing beside you during your journey to become the mom I KNOW you WILL be.
*HUGS*

Allison said...

I'll be on the edge of my seat until you post about what you hear on Tuesday. You are right, we are all a part of each others lives, whether it just be by reading each others blog or whatever. I'm so glad I stumbled across your blog months ago. :)

strongwoman said...

I've never commented on your blog, but I recently started following along as my DH and I are moving to surrogacy. I also wanted to let you know that I nominated you for a blog award.

emilythehopeless said...

i love you!! <3

TABI said...

I am so sorry for all these obstacles. I really hope things move forward well with the genetic testing and it's wonderful you have such a strong relationship with Sabrina.