Monday, November 16, 2009

back to the drawingboard

the second beta confirmed that sabrina is not pregnant. the number was 8.6, so we doubled backwards which is about par for course with my life.


i really thought that i would be very upset by this news, but really it has not been difficult at all. i am more concerned about sabrina and how she is feeling than about myself. this is really one of the nice parts about surrogacy, i have someone other than myself to focus on when bad things happen.
the plan right now is that we will cycle again in january, with one of our 9 totsicles. the reason for the delay is that our clinic does not do cycles in december for the obvious reasons. no one from the clinic has contacted me yet, i heard the news from sabrina, so i am not exactly sure of the details yet. she is supposed to speak with the doctor tomorrow so i will update when i know more.

the update may be a little late, as i will be attending the funeral of my great aunt. she passed away on sunday.

thank you all for the positive thoughts, prayers, and encouragement, it means so much to me.

24 comments:

TABI said...

I am so sorry. I know what you mean with surrogacy when you have someone else to think about too. I am glad to hear you have plenty of frozen to work with and January will be here very soon. Also, very sorry for the passing of your aunt. That's a lot to go through. Take care of yourself and I am keeping positive thoughts for you!

jenicini said...

I'm glad you are doing okay. {hugs}

Mugsy said...

I'm so sorry that it didn't take this time, but you've got a small army of totsicles to work with which is awesome! You've had a lot going on - I hope you are taking care of you! Sending you lots of warm juju!

Johnny and Darren said...

Sorry to hear your news... Frozen totsicles in the new year sound like a great idea!

Infertile In the City said...

So sorry to read Jaymee, it is an odd feeling with surrogacy, the distraction of worrying about someone else's feelings helps ease the pain in an odd way, or maybe that's me, but loss is loss and I'm so so sorry to read of yours. Big hugs to you for both the loss of your little baby and your Great Aunt.

strongwoman said...

I'm so sorry that this cycle wasn't a success for you. It sounds like you have a very healthy perspective, though, and lots of reason to be hopeful that the FET in January will go your way. Take care of yourself.

Amani said...

Darn! That line looked so dark. Glad you're taking it so well. You have many more to try with. It will happen.

pocketbebe said...

So bummed for you!! Will hope for the best in Jan!
D'Ann

Allison said...

Oh Jaymee, I don't know what to say. We don't understand why things don't work the way we want them, but I am so glad to know you have 9 frozen ones. We didn't have any left over when we cycled. I know I probably would have been a mess. I look up to you being so strong.

I'm sorry about your aunt too. When it rains it pours. Hang in there and I'm constantly thinking of you. I'm bummed about this.

Allison said...

Oh Jaymee, I don't know what to say. We don't understand why things don't work the way we want them, but I am so glad to know you have 9 frozen ones. We didn't have any left over when we cycled. I know I probably would have been a mess. I look up to you being so strong.

I'm sorry about your aunt too. When it rains it pours. Hang in there and I'm constantly thinking of you. I'm bummed about this.

Fertility Chick said...

Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you.

BB said...

So sorry for the beta! Strong vibes your way for the Jan cycle!

Anonymous said...

Jaymee - I'm sad for you. I'm glad that you are doing okay, but please be gentle with yourself in the days to come. You will be a Mommy in the near future, I just know it! (((hugs)))

Dee said...

So sorry, you are in my thoughts

Kelli said...

Oh, I'm so sorry that this month wasn't successful. :( Still praying for you (and Sabrina) and believing that January will be your month.

ASquared said...

I am so sorry to hear this :(
I am glad that you have a good number of frozen embryos to work with, but it's still so disappointing when something like this happens :( I hope that you start the New Year off with some great, long-awaited, much-deserved good news.

emilythehopeless said...

billions and zillions of hugs going your way. {HUGS}

Circus Princess said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry... actually no, I'm angry that this didn't work out for you this time. I guess I'm not my normal docile, patient self right now.

I will redirect my hoping/wishing/praying that your January cycle will be the one.

GREAT BIG HUG!!

Saige said...

I am so sorry to hear this Jaymee. You are all in my thoughts and prayers as you pick up all the pieces and get ready for round 2.

*big hugs*

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Soralis said...

Thinking of you.. sorry to hear your news.

Kristin said...

I am so sorry it didn't work for you this time. Hoping and praying it's perfect next time around.

T said...

I am so sorry.. :(

corine said...

not exactly the drawing board. You are this much closer to your goal. Hugs to you.