Monday, March 30, 2009

DNA Experiment

If I seem to be a little detached from the situation, it is because I am. There is nothing that I can do about the whole thing. It is either going to be the bonus or we are going to go back to the way things always were going to be. This is weird, I feel that I should be excited about all this, but I just cannot be. I bit the bullet and went to see the genetics people. It was a surreal experience to say the least. Over the years, I have been in a lot of doctors’ offices, way more than I care to admit, but this one was among the weirdest. First, there was the singing receptionist that was annoying to say the least. I do not even know what she was singing but it was annoying. Here I am sitting there waiting to find out if there is any way that I can possibly be the biological mother of my child so to say that I was nervous is an understatement and she was sitting there singing. Second, the office of the genetic counselor looked like an office of someone who was running a scam. You know how in the movies those offices are always clean and neat but there is nothing in them. There were two chairs, a desk, a computer that was off, and that was it, not a picture, nothing. At first, I thought it might be one of those shared offices, until I realized that her name was on the outside of the door. Okay, so that is fine. Then there was the lady who took my blood. She knew that I was there because we were trying to create a probe to test our embryos with; I know this because the genetic counselor told her so while I was standing there. The whole time we are waiting for the blood to fill the tubes, which took forever, she told me all about her sister who did not have any children. Many of you know that when someone finds out that you are infertile or seeking treatments to be fertile, you hear some strange stories. While I have heard most of them, this was a new one. I heard all about how wonderful her sister’s life was, living in San Diego, sailing on the weekend, and taking vacations at a moments notice. Only problem is, I like living in seasons, I get seasick, and do not have time for vacations. I guess she was trying to make me comfortable, or make herself comfortable. It is always that way; people do not know that it is fine to just not say anything. To tell you the truth I thought I was way past this point. I just sit there and smile, there is nothing that I say; I know that all that talk is just other peoples’ way of handling an uncomfortable situation. I just never thought that I was going to hear it from someone who works with infertile people most of the day. Whatever, it is just part of this whole thing. I go back into the strange office and talk to the doctor, who just happened to be a resident as a pediatrician, and just happened to train under my pediatrician. One of those small world things, but then again I do not live anywhere near where I grew up, so a bit stranger.
It is going to be another 9, long weeks before the results come back. There is nothing more we can do but wait. I guess I should get used to that concept.
While we are waiting, we are getting the contracts out of the way, since it does not matter who the genetic mother is for that purpose. At least this way we are not going to be thrown off schedule too much, if at all.
There are things that you learn along the way in IF, never get your hopes up, because what looks like the best thing in the world will come back to bite you in the butt if you let it.

Now for the experiment part. The fabulous Sabrina has a little project going over on her blog. Go over and see what it is, and then come back here because I am helping her in this endeavor. If you have any other ideas, please let us know. Think of it as economic stimulus you actually have a say in!!


Kristin said...

Keeping my fingers crossed that those test come back with results that let you be the genetic mom.

Beautiful Mess said...

Crossing fingers and hoping that those tests come back that your able to be the genetic mom.

emilythehopeless said...

wow...long wait. but like you said.. you're used to it. oh i hope you get good news!! you deserve it!!

Cyn said...

I can't believe the ball is really rolling-even if it's rolling slowly!!

I'm so excited for you!!