Monday, March 2, 2009

At the speed of light

Remember when I said there was still A LOT to be done, well I tried to do it all in a week. Suddenly, I have lists of things to do and I never make lists. Most of the time I am flying by the seat of my pants, it is a good day when I get out of the house with matching clean socks and all my junk. I know enough to know that surrogacy cannot be accomplished by doing things on the fly.

My RE, who I loved, told me that he would not do the transfer. I was so angry at him for going back on his word. Then I realized that it was better for everyone to have a doctor who was comfortable with the situation. It is easy to forget just how unique surrogacy is in the world. Being in the middle of the process, which is so all consuming, can make you lose perspective fast. Having others put this fact into perspective makes me want to fight them, until I realize that we are doing something that does not happen everyday. Further, we are doing something that many people do not even begin to understand.

I had to find us a new clinic and fast. Luckily, I have many wonderful people in my corner that helped me do this. I contacted the clinic on Friday and we have our phone consultation on Thursday. There is a ton of paperwork to fill out and most of it is complete. As much as I hate paperwork, this was better and worse all at the same time. I got to the "mother/wife/female partner" section and just started filling it out, I have filled out so many of these forms it was just natural. Then it hit me, they really do not need my information, other than why I cannot carry, all of my medical history is irrelevant. Wow, that was a huge moment. A year ago I would have sobbed for hours over that realization, now I am just happy to move on and that it takes a lot less time. The sting was there for a fleeting moment and then it was nothing but happiness and knowing just how fortunate I am that such wonderful women exist.

Lawyers, my favorite subject. We have the contracts, to write the contracts. These go out tomorrow. This decision was not hard, meeting our attorney was the only good thing to come out of the whole bad agency insanity.

Then one thing I was sure was finished suddenly needed to be redone. We had finally decided on an egg donor, after almost a year. I called the agency to let them know that we had our surrogate. They in turn informed me that our chosen donor had been diagnosed with Hep C. Therefore, it was back to the drawing board. Surprisingly, we have found two strong possibilities and it only took us a day and a half.

I feel like I really got a lot accomplished this week. This is funny because I also know this will look like nothing a month or two from now.

On top of this I turned 33 on Saturday. Helped write adoption policy and procedure where I am interning. Best of all I got accepted to grad school. The program that I am doing will be finished by the time the baby is born, because I got advanced standing. Plus, it will keep me so busy that I will not have time to sit and wait for the baby to be born, you know kind of like watching water while trying to get it to boil.


ANULAL said...

Iread your blog. fantastic....keep this good work going.

momsoon said...

Wow!! Amazing how much there is to do!!It is so great to hear about someone else's similar journey and enthusiasm at the possibilities at hand!!

We are switching clinics too(had our first apt. now working on transferring embryos), are in the middle of writing the contract with the lawyer, going for all our tests at the clinic (all three of us) def is 'at the speed of light!

Great to hear you got your DE sorted-it sounds to me like things are falling into place! Do you have any idea yet when you will transfer? We are aiming for end of March if everything is in place.

Keep up the good fight, I'll be watching closely and cheering you guys along...

Cyn said...

That really is a lot to get accomplished in one week. It doesn't seem like anywhere is in as big of a hurry as they should be.

Did I miss the agency insanity tale?

That's amazing that you were able to decide on an egg donor so quickly this time. I recall you really struggled with the decision initially.

Happy Belated birthday!! It sounds like you are at a really great place in your head.

Definitely at the speed of light!

Beautiful Mess said...

WOW! So fast! You got A LOT done, way to go! Happy belated birthday, I hope you had a fantastic one! And grad school! Whew, you're making me tired. Keep up the GREAT work!

Allison said...

Jaymee - I was so thrilled to read this entry. It sounds like things are moving right along for you. I'm so excited for you!

Happy Belated Birthday! Just think, you may have your little one before your next birthday. I'm hoping you do!

Congrats again on all of the accomplishments, including grad school. You rock!

emilythehopeless said...

ohmygod HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! :D
you are amazing.. so much going on! i can't believe your RE wouldn't do it??!?! why!?!?!?
congrats on grad school!!!

corine said...

Looks to me like you're going to have a great year.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha, remember that time when you said that you'd never go independent, and in the same said blog post stole the heart of your surrogate?

Good times, good times.......

( word verification today: cry potty)

Intending To Be Parents said...

I'm so sorry about your RE bailing and the donor not working out :( but that is awesome that you have found a new clinic and have 2 strong donor candidates lined up! And congrats on grad school that's fantastic!!

Duck said...

Hey - weird that your RE bailed on you (seems totally not cool with me at all). Glad that things are moving forward!

J and D said...

I am sorry your RE won't work with you and you had to choose another egg donor. It is a hard choice but I am glad you have other options.