Distractions from Surrogacy

Yes, I am still here. Honestly, I planned to post a lot this week; it just did not work out that way.

Some of you may recall that I need to loose a lot of weight. Well that has been going about as well as dragging an ice cubes across the desert. In the beginning of May, I began working out 3 days a week with a trainer. To date I have gained 20 more pounds none of which is muscle. To say the least I am frustrated. I am supposed to see the doctor because I believe that the PCOS is once again rearing its ugly head. A part of me thought that once I finished with the bleeding problems this would all be something that would no longer require attention.

I have been feeling horrible about everything for the past few days. To top this all, Joe-Bob could be away from home for 14 weeks over the summer that may put a real kink in our surrogacy plans. An amazing opportunity one could advance his career in ways that we could not imagine this soon. I am grateful that he has this chance, but I just want to get on with my plans. Of course, there is still a chance that this will not happen as I think it will.

Over the years, I have learned to prepare for the worst-case scenarios. Some people think this makes me morose or fatalistic, I think that it is the best way to protect myself. It may not be the world's best coping mechanism but it works for me and I am going to stick with it. It hurts a lot less to fall from 2 inches than 20 feet.

In order to maintain my sanity I have come up with a new project. I am going to finally rid my kitchen of the early 90's wallpaper. When we first saw our house I wanted to get rid of that paper, so 2 ½ year later, I am finally going to do something about it. This is all part of having something else to focus my energy on besides surrogacy.