Monday, June 9, 2008

moving the finish line

this is the story of my life, just when i get to that place where the end is barely in sight, someone moves the line. currently it is my elusive college degree. yeah, i have taken my sweet ass time getting there, but i thought that i was almost finished. let me backtrack, i haven't graduated from anything since the fourth grade, and i'll be dammed if i am not walking across that stage and getting this degree (2 degrees) that i have slaved over for 16 years. yes there have been detours, i like the scenic route, it is much more fun.

so all this planning has been shot to hell. as things stand i will finish next august ('09). so no big graduation for me. i am sure some of you just did your happy dance, i can't say that i blame you, but i deserve this. i deserve to have my 15 seconds of acknowledgement and i am going to figure out some way to get it. this was going to work out so well, hubby would still be in grad school and i could have time to get my masters before we blew this popsicle stand. we would have our baby and life would be good.

i should know by now that my plans aren't meant to work out. i have apparently pissed off the planning gods, this has been going on since the day i learned to plan after all. so i guess it is confirmed, i am officially insane, b/c i keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. or possibly b/c hubby married me, that is all i get, and that is wonderful and amazing, but really is that all i get?

yes, yes, i know that i have to be flexible, and i am, i have no problem letting things happen. just once though, i want something to go the way that i planned. having a kid will throw plans out the window, but i am an adult living with another adult, so shouldn't i be able to plan something? urgh it is just so frustrating. one day it will, maybe, but i won't plan it, b/c that just guarantees it won't happen. hey, maybe if i plan the opposite that will work. check back and i'll let you know.