Monday, May 26, 2008

showing the monster in the closet

for many of you this is your first time here. i have gotten a few concerns about my putting this out for the world to see. trust me it took me months to decide to put up this blog. i think of it like the monsters under the bed or in the closet, it is only when the lights are off that they can get you. so many times in my life i have missed out because i was afraid of the unknown. i almost didn't pursue surrogacy out of fear, and i have learned that there was much less to be afraid of than i thought. after tossing this idea around i decided that i was going to be the one to take the leap.

i have looked for surrogacy blogs from the intended parents point of view and there aren't any. for me there is no shame in this process. okay, so there is no morning sickness, i am not going to gain a bunch of weight, and i won't have to go through labor, but i will have given life to this child through a lot of really hard work. this is not a process that should be kept in the shadows, it is a beautiful way to make a family and i think that it should be celebrated. so here it is our adventure through this tangled web of lawyers, agencies, contracts, doctors, and whatever else we have yet to discover.

criticism is just a part of life, people judge each other everyday for way pettier stuff. if the worst thing that can be said about me doing this is that i took a chance, well then i am doing well. i hope one day our child will read this and be proud that all this work went into bringing them into the world. people say that you forget the pain of labor, well this is the closest i will ever come to that experience, and frankly i don't want to forget a moment. at the end of the day this is going to make my biggest dream come true.

thank you all for the love, support and concern. each of you make my life better and i couldn't do this without each of you.


Amanda said...

you are such a courageous mama, and your future child is so lucky to have you! im glowing with pride for you.